Yep, my wonderful Leader Dog Chloe managed to eat one whole bar and one almost used smaller bar of bath soap. I’m not sure how it happened, I didn’t actually see her do it. I’d taken my step daughter to the park, had come back home,had sent both step daughter and Chloe in to the bedroom so I could take care of some things around the house, and not have dog and step daughter in the way, and when I came back into the bedroom, I found shredded tissue all over the attached bathroom floor. This, of course, has happened before. So I set about cleaning up the mess, making a mental note that the bathroom door would now need to be completely closed and not just pulled to, as it seems that Chloe has now discovered that she can push the door open. So I’d pretty much had the mess cleaned up when I happened to look at the soapdish in the shower and notice that there was absolutely no soap in it. At first I thought the soap had been pushed out of the dish and into the shower, so I looked in the shower and seeing no sign of any soap anywhere, and seeing how clean the soap dish was,like someone had pressure cleaned it, leaving no hint or fragment of soap, it began to dawn on me that perhaps Chloe had eaten it.
At first I was really upset with her, and thenI started to become concerned. I started going through all of the possible ingredients found in bath soap I could think of, trying to remember if anything was poisonous or otherwise harmful to dogs. I couldn’t think of anything, and after consulting a knowledgeable friend on the matter, determined that Chloe would probably be all right. Although I honestly thought I’d have a long night ahead of me of cleaning up after a sick dog. Alhamdulillah, though, this turned out not to be the case. She wasn’t phased in the least, the only exception being a few more trips outside to the bathroom the next day. I’m telling you, this dog just wasn’t phased. She didn’t act ill, or in pain, or anything other than her normal, energetic, Chloe self. And thank God she didn’t throw up or have diarrhea in the house. I am truly thankful for that. But I’m starting to think this dog has an iron stomach lol.
Really, though, I get upset with myself when Chloe eats something that she’s not supposed to or otherwise behaves in a not so desirable way. I feel like I’m a bad dog handler, like I wasn’t watchful enough, or careful enough, or something. I know one time Chloe’d eaten some of my shrimp pizza, and I made the mistake of going on a dog handling list and airing out my worry about whether or not it’d hurt her and my frustration at Chloe once again eating something that she wasn’t supposed to, only to be judgmentally reminded that well uh, this wasn’t the first time Chloe’d done this and that I really needed to be more careful. Like I wasn’t already beating myself up over it enough as it was, like I wasn’t already chastizing myself for not being watchful or careful enough or whatever.
So of course, when Chloe ate the bath soap, I only told one other dog handler that I knew would understand, and that I knew would know whether or not I needed to worry, and who also knew Chloe well enough to actually see the humor in it. It reminds me of some advice my husband gave me once, something along the lines of, if you’re in trouble or otherwise need advice, go to the people you know, like friends, famly, etc., that love you and care about you and will advise you well, and that email lists and other places like that may not be the best places to go, because you don’t know if the people you’re dealing with have your best interest at heart, and they may be harsh and hurt you just because. Or something like that.
But I don’t like judgmental people, whether it’s other Muslims judging you, other blind people judging you, or other dog handlers judging you. Which is why I pretty much keep to myself. I’ve noticed that I’m not as open to people I don’t know as I used to be. And maybe this is why I don’t blog so much. I’m too afraid of being ridiculed, and chastized, and being told I’m wrong, or not good enough, or something. But there’s a lot of things I’d like to write about. I just don’t know how to get it out into a coherent blog post. And to get it out in a way that doesn’t invite scorn, or criticism or anything like that. But anyway, I’m digressing so wil go now.