HowDo You Unburn a Bridge?

Greetings / assalamu alaikum, it’s hard to come out publicly and say that perhaps you’ve been wrong, or at least, if you were right, that you still didn’t handle a particular situation in the best way. And so it’s taken me a long time to come out and say that perhaps I didn’t handle a disagreement/falling out with a fellow blogger and acquaintance in the best way I could have. And what’s worse I piled it on by pretty much saying that I’d no longer have anything to do with them. Evenif I was 100% in the right, I’m sure there were a million and one ways I could have handled the situation better and with a whole heckuva a lot more tact, discretion, wisdom, Taqwa,and all that other good stuff.

the thing is, usually, I’m slow to speak or react when I get upset, angry,feel provoked, etc., because I know when I’m upset or angry I can say some really mean and hurtful things. Hence usually I just don’t say or do anything until I’ve cooled off. And usually by then, I’ve cooled off and the situation has diffused enough that it’s not even worth commenting on anymore. The problem is this time I didn’t wait untilI cooled off. I just unfollowed and defriended, and blogged, and said and done things that I just simply can’t take back now. And I’ve felt horrible about it, yetsince I’ve so publicly burned that bridge, I’m at a loss as to how to go about rebuilding it. The truth is, I want to be forgiven, to be told that my heartfelt apologies have been accepted, and acquaintances and friendships can then go about being rebuilt and repaired, however, again, the truth is that the hurtor wronged person has every right to say no. I mean,how would I feel if I were hurt or wronged. Would I be so quick to forgive and forget and let bygones be bygones. I’m not sure that I would. Perhps I’d be able to forgive and not to forget, and once a friendship or acquaintance has been damaged, in my experience it’s very difficult to ever completely repair it.

there’s a lot of wisdom in thinking before you speak, looking before you leap, and counting to ten, or waiting a while before hitting that send or publish button. Because once you hit send, or say something, you can’t take it back. What’s done is done.

At any rate, I tend to get extremely distressed emotionally when I feel I’ve wronged soemone. And it tends to cause me alot of grief, though I don’t say this to beg for sympathy, because I take full responsibility for my actions. I’m just sayin’. My tongue and my typing hands have gotten me into a lot of trouble in the past. I can only hope and makedua that I can show more wisdomand forethought andtaqwa before I speak or write out of turn and thereby cause a lot of hurt and damage.


About Ginny

A blind Muslim woman currently living in Florida, just trying to make sense of the world around me! !
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1 Response to HowDo You Unburn a Bridge?

  1. Ann says:

    Assalamu alaykum,

    I went to a khutbah by Muhammad al-Shareef a few weeks ago, and he was talking about anger. At the end, he made a special point about the Internet. He said that when something makes him angry and he wants to fire off an e-mail or post, he writes it and gets it all of his chest – but in Microsoft Word, where it can’t accidentally get sent. Then he waits at least a day, and usually by the time he looks at it again, he’s calmed down and won’t send it (at least in the same form). So having a cooling-off period is a good idea… Insha’Allah your situation will be resolved in a good way for everyone involved.

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