Assalamu alaikum/greetings all. Had my OB appointment today, and will now go to once a week visits until the baby gets here, which, well, at this point could probably be anywhere from 2 to 4 weeks, or perhaps sooner. This pregnancy for the most part has been pretty uneventful, aside from some minor back pain, and a few other slight discomforts. And really I’m feeling quite well.
I’m starting to get really excited/impatient, and the only things I’m worried about at this point are keeping my blood sugar down, the fact that the ultrasound that I had both today and about 6 weeks ago showed extra fluid in the baby’s kidneys (something the doctor said is common for boys), and just generally having a health delivery.
The baby is turned on his side, with his head turned toward my right, but he’s head down, which per the doctor is where he needs to be of course. Inshallah, the kidney issue resolves itself as really that’s the thing I’m the most concerned about, even though the doctor said it was common. I was kinda hoping that by today it’d have resolved itself.
I just have a lot of questions that I of course never think of when I’m in the doctor’s office like, what causes extra fluid in the kidneys, how common is it, does it normally resolve itself, and if not, what happens then?
Like I’ve said before, anything “wrong”, whether it’s higher than normal glucose for me, or extra fluid in the kidneys for baby, probably makes me more unnerved than I’d probably normally be simply because I found out about the pregnancy so late. I keep having this nagging doubt/question in my mind, wondering if I did something wrong, wondering if I could have done something different, afraid that something is really going to be wrong.
And per my understanding, Muslims are not supposed to share their dreams publicly, but let’s just say that I’ve been having some really vivid ones, and some of them not happy ones. I’m just feeling a mixture of excitement and apprehension, I just want the baby to be OK, and I wish I could learn to rely on Allah more and not worry about it so much. I’m starting to worry/be apprehensive about labor and delivery. Like I don’t wanna be at work when I go into labor or if my water breaks, or at the masjid, or some other public place. I’m afraid I won’t know when I’m in labor lol, if that’s even possible. Or, I’m afraid the pain’s going to be so bad that I’ll make an utter fool of myself.
I’m apprehensive about how the staff at the hospital will treat me as a blind parent, and I’ve heard many horror stories about this. I’m afraid of dropping my baby, or forgetting to feed him, or something like that. And I feel silly for even thinking/saying all of this.
Anyway, I’ll say what I said/thought when I first found out I was pregnant, and that was that I just want him here, healthy happy and with as little or no complication as possible. And Inshallah, I’m ready for parenting, or at least as ready as humanly possible *smile*.