Not Gonna Fight Anymore

Assalamu alaikum, it’s about that time of the year again, not only is Ramadan fast approaching, but along with it the yearly haggling of the moon, was it seen, no they couldn’t have seen it, you should follow Saudi, no you shouldn’t, etc., etc., etc., and if you’ve been Muslim for more than five minutes you know what I’m talking about.

And this year, I’m truly not going to fight over this anymore. It’s really amazing to me how much time I used to think I didn’t have, yet I still found the time to haggle and debate online with people I didn’t even know about issues that, truly, I probably had and still don’t have, any business haggling and arguing and debating about. Whether it’s madhhabs or moon sighting or Salafi this or anti-Salafi or “traditional” or whatever. I used to talk about how I had no time to debate with people all while I continued to debate with them.

The thing is, when my son was born, I truly discovered what it was like to have no time for the computer and thus no time for debates. At most I might have time to peek at my email or look thorugh my facebook newsfeed, and then the baby’s up again or he needs to be changed, or I need to sleep or I need to get things done around the house.

Last Ramadan I felt so disconnected, I couldn’t fast for one thing, the baby’d just been born for another, and the fact that I couldn’t fast, in general, just made me feel disconnected from the whole Ramadan feel. And I felt the tiredness and just a bit overwhelmed as is normal when getting adjusted to having a newborn in the house.

This year, Inshallah, I want to enjoy Ramadan again, I’m really looking forward to it. And fighting over the moon isn’t going to help me spiritally speaking, in achieving what I want for this upcoming month. Let’s just say I think Position A regarding moon sighting is right but my local masjid follows Position B, even if I decide to follow Position A anyway, I’ve never felt right in doing this. Because the reasoning in my mind isn’t entirely pure. I’m not doing it solely because I’m “right” I’m also doing it admittedly out of a feeling of arrogance and a kind of “I know more than you abou thtis” attitude which doesn’t quite describe it, but it’s the best I can come up with at this time. And I really don’t think that’s the spirit once should have going into the most sacred month of the year.

Sure, perhaps Position B is wrong, but perhaps following Position B evenif I may think it’s wrong is a way of teaching me humility or something. And besides, because the moon sighting mess is well, a mess, I really think there is soemthing to be said for deferring to our leaders on this issue. Because really, the layperson, given all of the information out there, a lot of which seems downright contradictory to me, anyway, can get quite confused. I’ve even been confused myself after wading through all of the stuff out there. And as I’ve said before, I’m just tired, I just don’t have the strength to debate anymore.

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About Ginny

A blind Muslim woman currently living in Florida, just trying to make sense of the world around me! !
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